Ah, I just “unsubscribed” from 47 over-solicitous emails . . .again.
At least, I THINK I unsubscribed. The word “unsubscribe” is such
teeny, tiny print that one can hardly make out the word
“unsubscribe.” In fact, the entire screen looks blank until you notice
something way at the top. How different from the barrage of stuff
these unsolicited emails dump on us. Then they ask us to confirm our
email address. Uh, for what reason? You obviously KNOW this is
my email address or you wouldn’t clog my Yahoo account with tons
of things I am NOT interested in.
I thought robo calls were bad. You can’t get rid of these emails, no
matter how many times you “unsubscribe.” The other day, I got an
email from a news magazine saying they want me back. Back? I
don’t remember having subscribed to this particular magazine EVER,
yet they “miss me.” Hmmm. More than a half century ago, I DID
subscribe to a news magazine to study for current events quizzes in
high school. Is it possible that a magazine keeps track of former
subscribers for over 50 years ? Stephen King, I have a story line for
This past Christmas, I ordered a fiber optic snow scene from a home
improvement store--online. So sorry I did. I don’t have an ounce of
desire for a RYOBI P884 18-Volt Lithium Ion Combo Kit, nor a
Pittsburgh 120-piece tool set with case. My Florida set is fine, thank
you, yet 24/7, I get bombarded with online offers on all kinds of
handy-person tools. I go to the physical location of this store maybe
3 times a year, yet they feel they have the right to “visit” me daily.
Can we get restraining orders for such intrusions?
My sister, bless her heart, gave me a subscription to a digest
magazine. So sorry she did. I love the magazine, but not the 3,45
offers to extend my subscription. “Sign up for 10 years and save a
total of $2,130 over the regular subscription price.” News flash!
I’m 75; 10 years from now, I might not be digesting anything! Just let me
alone already and let me enjoy my gift subscription.
It kills me when these solicitors ask why I am unsubscribing from a
subscription I never subscribed to in the first place. “In 200 words or less,
tell us why you are leaving us.” Duh. People getting a divorce only need
TWO words: “Irreconcilable Differences”, yet you want a response that
could be bound and sent to the Library of Congress?
I gave a gift PRINT subscription of a national newspaper to a friend. You
would think I subscribed, except my daily excerpts come via my email. So
now I get unsolicited headlines, daily briefs, articles that are pro-Democrat,
articles that are pro-Republicans, articles that make you wish you had a
personal bomb shelter and 3 years’ worth of Ding-Dongs.
And 10 seconds after you unsubscribe, you are given a chance to resubscribe!
Ten seconds after! I might be that indecisive about whether to
say “to-may-to” or “to-mah-to”, but when I say I want to unsubscribe from
something, I mean it!
My doctor might need to PREscribe something for the migraine I get
whenever I have to unsubscribe for the hundredth time from that which I
never subscribed to in the first place. Sigh.
Jean Mlincek is a freelance writer who resides in St. Petersburg, Fla.